Torture Without Trace: Five Songs by Detained Tibetan Singer Tashi Dhondup

High Peaks Pure Earth presents five music videos by Tibetan singer Tashi Dhondup (also sometimes spelled Tashi Dondrup) from Amdo. According to this report by Radio Free Asia from March 5, 2010, Tashi Dhondup, 30, was sentenced to 15 months of re-education through labour for "separatist activities" related to his music on January 5, 2010.

News of Tashi Dhondup's detention on December 3, 2009, had been reported by media, including this short article in The Times and here at High Peaks Pure Earth we had also been monitoring news of his arrest.

On December 8, 2009, the International Campaign for Tibet released a report and gave the following details about his arrest:

Tashi Dhondup was detained last week at gun-point while his wife wept and grabbed one of the police officer’s legs in an attempt to hold him back.

A popular singer in Amdo, Tashi Dhondup became well known for his song "1958 - 2008" that compares two "terrifying" periods for Tibetans. This song spread amongst Tibetans via the internet and mobile phones and was written about by Tibetan writer and singer Jamyang Kyi on her blog as far back as February 12, 2009. Jamyang Kyi wrote:

I arrived in Ziling (Xining) yesterday and I learned that a young boy name Tashi Dondrup of Mongol origin has produced a CD named "Songs of 2008" but he was arrested before distributing it into the market in December 2008. I was told that his song has been posted on the internet and widely downloaded on to cell phones and is now distributed amongst the Tibetans.

Tashi Dhondup had been detained in September 2008 because of that song and the ICT report tells us "He was detained and beaten for over seven days by police in Xining".

Here is the High Peaks Pure Earth translation of the song "1958 - 2008", for slower internet connections listen to the mp3 below the video:

"1958 - 2008" by Tashi Dhondup from HPeaks on Vimeo

"1958-2008" by Tashi Dhondup by hpeaks

"1958 - 2008"

 Hey!
The year of 1958,
is when the black enemy entered Tibet,
is when lamas were put in prison.

That time was terrifying
That time was terrifying

Hey!
The year of 1958,
is when Tibetan heroes were put in prison,
is when innocent Tibetans were put in prison.

That time was terrifying
That time was terrifying

Hey!
The year of 2008,
is when innocent Tibetans were tortured,
is when the earth destroyed people's lives.

That time was terrifying
That time was terrifying

The Radio Free Asia report tells us that Tashi Dhondup was detained again in Xining after thousands of copies of his CD "Torture Without Trace" started to be sold in Amdo. Court documents obtained by Radio Free Asia say that Tashi Dhondup and "some other associates copied about 3,000 CDS and distributed them in 11 counties in Qinghai, Sichuan, and Gansu”.

This is the CD cover of "Torture Without Trace":

 CD cover of "Torture Without Trace" by Tashi Dhondup

The full track listing reads:

01: Waiting With Hope

02: Western Land of Scholars

03: Torture Without Trace

04: Unable to Meet

05: For That I Shed My Tears

06: Pain of Missing

07: Let's Go

08: Unbearable Fate

09: No Escape

10: Tibet Has Good Karma

11: No Regrets

12: Think

13: A Sad Life

Four tracks from "Torture Without Trace" with full English translation are below, including the title track, in video and downloadable mp3 form. For High Peaks Pure Earth readers who wish to see more of Tashi Dhondup's music videos, all thirteen music videos from "Torture Without Trace" have been uploaded on YouTube and can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/sonam0tenzin

Chinese translations of Tashi Dhondup's songs "Waiting With Hope" and "Torture Without Trace" are available on Woeser's blog: http://woeser.middle-way.net/2009/12/blog-post_07.html Woeser also wrote an excellent essay titled "What Kinds of Songs Are Reactionary Songs?" in early 2009 which is worth another read as background to Tashi Dhondup's situation.

Finally, High Peaks Pure Earth is very grateful to Bhuchung D. Sonam of Tibet Writes for his translations of the songs "Torture Without Trace", "No Regrets", "Unable To Meet" and "For That I Shed My Tears" and for allowing us to use and publish them. A big thank you also goes to the translator of "1958 - 2008"!

"Torture Without Trace" by Tashi Dhondup from HPeaks on Vimeo

"Torture Without Trace" by Tashi Dhondup by hpeaks

Torture Without Trace

First, a sad tune for my brother hasn't returned from afar
Second, the pain because there is no harmony for people
Third, the occupation and denial of freedom for Tibetans

This is all torture without trace

First, the regret as our ancestral wealth is lost to outsiders
Second, the pain that we aren't the owners of our resources
Third, the practice of sterilisation to wipe out our race

This is all torture without trace
This is all torture without trace

First, the hurt from being denied my parents' love
Second, the failure to hear the inner voices of my people
Third, the grief that our mountains are belittled

This is all torture without trace

Third, the grief that our mountains are belittled

This is all torture without trace

"Unable To Meet" by Tashi Dhondup from HPeaks on Vimeo

"Unable to Meet" by Tashi Dhondup by hpeaks

Unable To Meet

When I think about it I am unfortunate
I am unable to meet the Precious Jewel
Even though I wish, I have no freedom
If I think about this I am unfortunate

When I think about it I am unfortunate
I am unable to wave the Snow Lion Flag
Even though I wish, I have no freedom
If I think about this I am unfortunate

When I think about it I am unfortunate
I am unable to sing a song about loyalty
Even though I wish, I have no freedom
If I think about this I am unfortunate

Even though I wish, I have no freedom
If I think about this I am unfortunate

"For That I Shed My Tears" by Tashi Dhondup from HPeaks on Vimeo

"For That I Shed My Tears" by Tashi Dhondup by hpeaks

For That I Shed My Tears

My lama, the compassionate one
Has gone into exile from Tibet
It pains my mind no end
And the tears fall from my eyes

Courageous patriotic martyrs
Have sacrificed their lives for Tibet
It pains my heart thinking of them
And the tears fall from my eyes

Tibetans are denied freedom
And beaten up for no reason
It pains me thinking of this
And the tears fall from my eyes

It pains me thinking of this
And the tears fall from my eyes

"No Regrets" by Tashi Dhondup from HPeaks on Vimeo

"No Regrets" by Tashi Dhondup by hpeaks

No Regrets

Some say I am bad
Some people say I am good
I can be good and I can be bad
But this suffering in me
for not being able to see my lama
I will tell the people of Tibet
For which even if I am killed
I have no regrets

Some people say I am bad
Some say I am good
I can be good and I can be bad
About the Tibetan martyrs
I will sing for the rest of my life
For which even if I am killed
I have no regrets

Some people say I am bad
Some say I am good
I can be good and I can be bad
Tibet has no freedom I sing
And I'll sing it throughout my life
For which even if I am killed
I have no regrets

I have no regrets

"An Email Received on March 10th" by Woeser

High Peaks Pure Earth has translated a blogpost by Woeser that was originally written for Radio Free Asia on March 10, 2010 and posted on her blog on March 15, 2010.

This year, Woeser returned to Lhasa and spent Tibetan New Year in the capital. In her previous blogpost, "Lhasa In February", Woeser described everyday life and the tense atmosphere there. In the blogpost below, Woeser spends a little time commemorating March 10, 1959 and 2008, two historic occasions. However, she clearly refrains from writing a whole blogpost about it, perhaps due to the sensitivity around the topic and the fact that she is still blogging from Lhasa.

In the first paragraph, the poem that Woeser quotes is "Tibet's Secret" and High Peaks Pure Earth is grateful to Ragged Banner for the use of the English translation lifted from the volume "Tibet's True Heart".

In the final paragraph, Woeser mentions the film "Dreaming Lhasa", a film that she has previously written about. Incidentally, Woeser and her husband Wang Lixiong are both interviewed by the filmmakers of "Dreaming Lhasa", Ritu Sarin and Tenzing Sonam, in their new documentary "The Sun Behind the Clouds", currently being screened at festivals around the world.

"An Email Received on March 10th" by Woeser

For Tibet, March 10th shows the way in which the fate of all Tibetans is constantly changing, and this is a fact that the whole world already knows. As the 51st commemoration day approached, I was returning to Lhasa from Beijing and I could not but be discreet in my words and deeds. This is because on the exact same day in the Year of the Mouse, the fate of all Tibetan people once more changed; accordingly, I could see many soldiers and policemen with guns but what I could not see were those hidden "ears and eyes” (“amchoks” and “mi”). I previously wrote in one of my poems “It's been said, "Tibetans' fear is palpable." But I'd say the air has long been charged with fear, real fear.” Let’s stop at this point and talk about something else. 


For example, on that day I received an email early in the morning before daybreak containing some deep thoughts worthy of further investigating. The sender was a Han Chinese woman and a believer in traditional Tibetan Buddhism. After the protests that spread all over Tibet in March two years ago, she went to the northern region of Kham, Eastern Tibet, and upon her return she published a travel diary. In the preface, she expressed the following: “I witnessed with my own eyes that this nationality and its culture are currently being engulfed by the ferocious imperialist policies of the Chinese government, I am extremely worried about how long it can maintain to exist.” For this reason, I posted her travel diary on my blog.

Later on, she went to India and Nepal to study Buddhism. Just like His Holiness Dalai Lama said in his speech at the gathering marking the 51st commemoration day: “And because the heads of all four major schools of Tibetan Buddhism and the Bon religion are in exile, we have been able to re-establish various institutions for religious training and practice. In these institutions over ten thousand monks and nuns are free to pursue their vocations.” I read in the email from this Han Chinese Buddhist of her happiness, showing how she has immersed herself in studying with many great Tibetan Buddhist masters and acquiring the knowledge and experiences, which they have brought with them. To be honest, I really envy her because I am just like one of those numerous Tibetans living in Tibet, I simply don’t have the opportunity to so closely study with the great masters; this is our reality.

Also, she wrote one paragraph especially for me: “seeing you taking hardships and fighting for the reality in Tibet day and night, I feel very moved, and even more want to say to you, there is one path, which eliminates all of this, it is the path of Buddhism…, people do not merely live in Tibet, in China, in the People’s Republic of China for a short period of time, all living beings experience suffering, if we expand and broaden our horizon a little bit, our lives will gain a more far-reaching meaning... If it’s possible, spend a little more time studying Buddhism and practicing; spend more time together with our teachers, it will make our hearts more composed and peaceful.”

Being converted to the Three Precious Jewels (the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha), I of course agree with the Buddhist teachings about being a way to leave suffering behind and reach happiness. Yet, thinking more about this, there are a few points I need to raise. Believing in Buddhism or studying Buddhism should not only be done for the sake of seeking for happiness for oneself; if in reality, there are so many sentient beings who do not reach happiness, what use is the individual’s happiness? At the end of last year, at the Buddhist festival held for Taiwanese Buddhists, His Holiness the Dalai Lama conveyed that “about 15 or 20 years ago, I met a group of French people believing in Tibetan Buddhism, they said that they only paid attention to Tibetan Buddhism but did not pay attention to politics. At the time, I asked them whether they got up early in the morning and prayed for the prosperity of Buddhism and they said that they did. At the time I answered, if one prays for the prosperity of Buddhism, one should consider that the current situation in Tibet is destroying Buddhism; if one wishes for the eternal prosperity of the Buddhist doctrine, it becomes a question of the state of Tibet. That’s why Tibet’s autonomy and Buddhism are interlinked. If there wasn’t autonomy in Tibet, Buddhism would not be able to exist.” 

I still remember once watching the film “Dreaming Lhasa” with a Rinpoche and his Han Chinese disciple. It described how thousands of Tibetans in 1959 after losing their homes were forced out of their native land and parted, never to meet again with their relatives who were left behind. For many years they lived a life of suffering in a foreign place. Moreover, it shows how the next generations, the situation of young Tibetans today, is equally full of the bitterness of being in exile. The Rinpoche was moved to tears by the film, yet, his Han Chinese disciple soothingly said: “this is the fate of Tibet, what is there to complain about?”

 I need to make clear that the reason why I mention Han Chinese Buddhists twice is just because I know them; I do not wish to infer any other meaning to these mentions. In fact, this March 10th, or rather over the last 51 years, every March 10th has already turned into one nationality’s most bitter collective memory. If Buddhism did not exist as a means of relief, this would be unbearable.

Lhasa, March 10th, 2010

"Lhasa in February" by Woeser

High Peaks Pure Earth has translated a blogpost by Woeser that was originally written for Radio Free Asia on February 24, 2010 and posted on her blog on March 4, 2010.

This is the second blogpost that Woeser has written from Lhasa and she vividly describes, in a poetic way, everyday life there with a lot of interesting details. For background information on her trip to Lhasa, see the introduction to the last post she wrote titled "What Is Happiness?" here on High Peaks Pure Earth.

In her final paragraph, Woeser refers to young Tibetans who are proudly asserting their Tibetan identity, she has described it as a kind of "mission" they are on. For an earlier posting on this topic by Woeser see "I Am Tibetan" and don't miss two videos from Amdo, I Am Tibetan and the hip hop video "New Generation".

"Lhasa in February"

By Woeser

Lhasa in February, with the arrival of Losar (Tibetan New Year), the city is slowly being swept away by sandstorms. In the past, the storms would never start this early, is global warming the only reason behind this? The Lhasa river valley used to be surrounded by a group of mountains called the “eight lotus petals” but today as it has been completely destroyed by mining machines, as soon as the wind starts to blow, sand and dust spreads everywhere. Also, on top of Lhasa valley, in the past it used to be the homeland of Tsangpo Songtsen Gompo but today even the local Medro Gongkar county government simply sold its own land to one of China Gold Group’s mining companies. The officials lined their own pockets but contaminated water has polluted farmland and even killed livestock or given the farmers strange diseases.  

Lhasa in February, with the arrival of Losar, scenes on TV show officials asking the poor about their hardships; they are poor Tibetans from the city of Lhasa or from the remote countryside and pastureland. The officials with their subordinates show off the many hundred Yuan notes, which, with exaggerated gestures, they give to those Tibetans who bend and stick out their tongues (as a sign of respect) or hold out their hands. Also, those Tibetans speaking Lhasa, Shigatse, Nagchu or Chamdo dialects shed tears of gratitude; some even choke with tears, over and over again expressing their eternal gratitude. Yet, if people have to feel this overly thankful for such a little bit of money, doesn’t that mean that their poverty is in fact so widespread and alarming? 

Lhasa in February, with the arrival of Losar, red lanterns of all sizes are hanging everywhere. This is by no means a Tibetan custom; it is revealing a different kind of message: the assimilation of local culture by an outside culture. For example, writing red antithetical couplets in Tibetan is really only a strange imitation of an antithetical couplet written in Chinese. They thought that this was just a transformation of old social traditions, but it really is neither fish nor fowl. We should know that all the loss is reflected in the details; every detail meant a little bit of loss and in the end, the loss is complete. It was the local government who initiated that five-starred red flags are now hanging everywhere in the city’s main roads and small alleyways. Cadres went from house to house, from door to door, from shop to shop requesting everyone to hang up a flag. Plus, they especially emphasised that this year people should hang up a particularly big flag. A red flag is also fluttering on the roof of the Potala Palace, pompously declaring  national sovereignty. 

Lhasa in February, with the arrival of Losar, we can also observe some special colours: one is green, representing soldiers with weapons in their hands, running wild in the streets of Tibet. When one runs into them directly, one has to quickly give way, or else one might with sudden force be pushed aside. There are also some soldiers, who boldly stand on Tibetan people’s rooftops, looking down from above, valiantly pressuring the Tibetans walking below gasping for breath. The other colour is blue, representing the police also carrying weapons in their hands, not just a few of them are Tibetans. I witnessed myself that a young Tibetan who was paying homage to Buddha was pushed away and when he answered back defiantly, Tibetan police clutched his throat. Another colour is always changing. I am not sure how many times these plainclothes policemen have changed their outfits, I even heard that some of them pretend to be Buddhist monks wearing robes wandering around the temples. Or they pretend to be tourists wearing rosaries on their wrists. 

Lhasa in February, with the arrival of Losar, I also have to mention these few people: my fellow Tibetan townspeople who I love and respect. They prostrate all their way from various different hometowns to the sacred place - Lhasa - and with the Jokhang and the Potala Palace at their centre, they still continue to prostrate. Of course, the majority of them are farmers, herdsmen and Buddhist monks and nuns, who embody the characteristics of the grassland of the snowy mountains, and who smell of yak butter. When I was walking around the Barkhor I encountered a Buddhist monk whose forehead was full of scabs. He was singing songs in praise of Guru Rinpoche at full volume while slowly prostrating. What will the passing soldiers with their guns in their hands think about Tibetan beliefs? 

Lhasa in February, with the arrival of Losar, there are more and more young people who continue to go down the path which belongs to them. They have come back from Chinese universities to their hometowns, wearing Tibetan clothes, speaking their mother tongue, feeling that they are on an “I am Tibetan” mission. And in a cherishing manner they go and learn about the roots of this piece of land, also, when they climb the high mountains to make offering by burning incense, scatter wind-horses, or recite traditional scriptures, they make promises for the future. They are full of self-confidence; they are in their prime, this is exactly the hope which has existed and been multiplied for generations and generations. 

Lhasa, February 24, 2010

"New Generation" - Hip Hop Music Video from Amdo

High Peaks Pure Earth has translated a new hip hop music video from Amdo. The group who call themselves Yudrug in Tibetan, Green Dragon in English and Qinglong in Chinese, are from Machu in Amdo and they released their new track on their blog on February 5, 2010, as a gift to fans for Tibetan New Year. The video was subsequently quickly re-posted on other Tibetan blogs.

Although they call themselves "green dragon" in English, Yudrug is actually a name of a type of horse. This horse is very popular in Machu and considered a jewel, a source of wealth, as clearly stated in one of their previous songs.

Interestingly, no individual credits are given for the song, it is presented completely as a group effort. Even where the name of the lyricist should be, there is just the description “strong-willed”. The beginning of the video, below the song title, tells us that the song is "…for the hard-headed people out there".

The group however do appear to be very professional, as can be seen in their meticulously edited video and good sound quality. In the past, they have given due credit to the song composers, even crediting well-known Nepal based exile Tibetan singer Tsering Gyurmey for a cover of his song "Dream" that they recorded.

This bold new style of musical expression heard in "New Generation" has been quite controversial in Tibetan cyberspace with Tibetan bloggers praising Yudrug for their outspoken lyrics but some also criticising Yudrug for adopting a style that is seen as “too western”. Whatever your musical taste may be, the song is undeniably powerful and energetic with a rousing chorus:

The new generation has a resource called youth
The new generation has a pride called confidence
The new generation has an appearance called playfulness
The new generation has a temptation called freedom

In an earlier blogpost, High Peaks Pure Earth commented on the upsurge in online activity about asserting Tibetan identity.  “New Generation” by Yudrug demonstrates that this pride in Tibetan identity has translated to music as well. Furthermore, this pride is imbued with elements of cool and confidence. In fact, this “coolness” that Yudrug have was the initial inspiration behind a Tibetan blogger’s blogpost of August 2009 titled “Be Cool, Be Tibetan”, where he stated:

The Yudruk phenomenon shows not only that Tibetans can be cool, but that it is cool to be Tibetan. This is a radical shift. But not only does it show a kind of Tibetanness that is on the cutting edge of cool. It also makes it clear that a Tibetan image can be created and exist entirely outside of the Chinese imagination. This is a kind of Tibetanness that was made by and for Tibetans.

High Peaks Pure Earth would like to thank our own "Green Dragons" firstly for drawing our attention to this video and also for their help with this difficult translation. Thank you.

"New Generation" by Yudrug (Green Dragon) from HPeaks on Vimeo.

Below is the mp3 track along with the lyrics to “New Generation” in full:

New Generation by Yudrug (Green Dragon) by hpeaks

"New Generation" by Green Dragon
…for the hard-headed people out there
Lyrics: "Strong Willed"
Composition: Green Dragon
Vocals: Green Dragon and Blue Moon

The noise of vehicles has woken us
Among the crowded tall buildings
Our dreams and belongings have all been packed

See the polluted sky and know
We can't afford to wait for tomorrow's sunrise
Now wake up...

It's already time to walk on the road
It's time to walk, time to think
Our bare shoulders wet with sweat
Our long hair tangled by the wind
Our faith and lives are adorned by freedom
Our collective path is determined by individual choice
As much sweat as you shed
That much result shall you reap

So said our great forefathers
But our forefathers are long gone
We don't have to keep quiet

The owner of karma has left me like a toy
With strength and talent I need to somehow respond
Even the old lady neighbour says I'm spoiled
With power and ability I'll prove them all!

The new generation has a resource called youth
The new generation has a pride called confidence
The new generation has an appearance called playfulness
The new generation has a temptation called freedom

The new generation has a resource called youth
The new generation has a pride called confidence
The new generation has an appearance called playfulness
The new generation has a temptation called freedom

At one time I thought that love was everything
Then love turned me into nothing
A girl I loved so much
Has given me a very beautiful gift
Now I haven't lost her
The dream of love has not been lost

Deceit and cunning!
In a society where people are deceived by money, fame and power
Will I ever find a meaningful love?
Will i ever find a definite pledge?
Who among us will?

We are caught up in our thoughts of pain and of mere fashion
We wrote our own darkness and we're scared of living
We embody the pride of youth and search for future aspirations with full willpower

Search!
Search!

We are the new generation of today

As I achieved what I wanted to achieve
My dreams don't waiver in the night
As I said what I wanted to say
I didn't turn into a mute
I did it for me only!

As I achieved what I wanted to achieve
My dreams don't waiver in the night
As I said what I wanted to say
I didn't turn into a mute
I did it only to represent myself!

Get used to me!
I am the decadent breath of your uncontrollability

Get used to me!
I am under your limitless uncontrollable watch

Get used to me!
I am the manifestation of today and the substance of tomorrow

I am very light, in your imagination
I am very small, in your vegetable patch

Does your advanced theory wish to blow up my head?
Does your forced bullet wish to shoot through my heart?

I am just an old and damaged vehicle
The horse of time departed early morning
The small flame under your saddle
The blood and bodies frozen in the ice are bound to fade

We are the sharp wisdom that your speeches and lectures haven't reached
We are the smooth darkness that your flame and power hasn't absorbed
We are the response with playfulness that makes your heart ache
We are the infection and fright to your livelihood!

The new generation has a resource called youth
The new generation has a pride called confidence
The new generation has an appearance called playfulness
The new generation has a temptation called freedom

The new generation has a resource called youth
The new generation has a pride called confidence
The new generation has an appearance called playfulness
The new generation has a temptation called freedom

Our story has not ended here
It's just the beginning
We never fall asleep but are awake forever

Get used to dreaming
Get used to unlawful damage and uprisings
Get used to this way of living
Get used to moving forward

To our beloved and proud new generation

Translation: High Peaks Pure Earth

"What is Happiness?" By Woeser

High Peaks Pure Earth has translated a blogpost by Woeser that was originally written for Radio Free Asia on February 16, 2010 in Lhasa and posted on her blog on February 22, 2010.

This is the first time Woeser has returned to Lhasa since her brief stay in August 2008 that ended in several hours of detention and an unexpectedly rapid return to Beijing.

In her blogpost, Woeser refers to the annual Tibetan New Year gala in Lhasa that is broadcast on TV. The gala is typically an extravagant spectacle of a show, comprised of special guest performances, songs, dances and comedy sketches. This year, the theme of the gala was 'happiness', hence the title of Woeser's blogpost. For High Peaks Pure Earth readers who have never seen this gala before, a hard-working YouTube user has uploaded the gala in its entirety in 52 parts (!) here.

In the blogpost, Woeser also mentions young Tibetan poet from Amdo Gade Tsering (sometimes the spelling Gadai Tsering from the Chinese pinyin is used). Gade Tsering's popularity amongst Tibetans has been demonstrated through the plethora of votes he received during the online poll "2009 Tibetan Personality of the Year".

"What is Happiness?" By Woeser

What is happiness? For me it is going back to Lhasa, where I have been away from for a long time, eating tsampa my mother kneaded, embracing my bright-eyed little niece, polishing the purified water bowl in the family altar room or enjoying the balmy sunlight on the balcony, being watched by the family’s shepherd dog, whose barking almost makes one go deaf. Happiness can also be found in the nights of the cold season, falling asleep to the authentic fragrance fromMindroling Monastery…at these moments I felt happiness, the simple happiness of someone living far away from home.

The young poet, Gade Tsering, who lives in Amdo, recently wrote about happiness in one of his poems. The title of the poem is “I am Tibetan”. He didn’t only write: “in this despotic winter, I composed this poem”, having lost both his parents, he also wrote: “I encountered my parents in my dream, it was a moment of happiness. I truly believe that at that instant, it really didn’t hurt”. This bilingual poet also wrote: “when I spoke my mother tongue, I truly believe that at that instant, I felt peaceful, and experienced happiness”. This is a feeling that derives from life experience; this kind of happiness is personal, with tears in one’s eyes.

On the first day of the Losar Year of the Tiger, when I went to Jokhang Temple to pay homage to the Buddha, the sky was still dark before daybreak. I hadn’t thought that the religious crowd praying to Buddha would be that large; there was a jostling and long-winding queue, I simply cannot describe how many Tibetans there were from near and far.

I don’t know from what time they had gathered together at this place, step by step approaching the comforting and popular Jowo Rinpoche. Based on my past experience that I would always spend the New Year’s eve at the Jokhang, I have often seen such scenes of an excited mass of bobbing heads, of moving human shadows, of thundering human voices, with the Jowo Rinpoche, having experienced many vicissitudes of life, watching the devout crowd in golden radiant light. True, this is a moment of happiness. Witnessing such a scene, one could even see affection on the faces of the most heartless people; they would even hide the daggers, which they carried in their hands behind their backs.

But this time, I could only experience such scenes in my memory. I had already queued for almost 4 hours, but the first gate of the Jokhang was still far away and I had something to do at home, so I could only turn back half way. Anyway, I had already felt the pulsation of my fellow people. Yet, I am not talking about those old and young people wearing sheepskin gowns, woollen clothes from Tibet or fashionable clothes from the metropolis, I am also not talking about those herdswomen in front of me who braided their hair into many small plaits, I am talking about those people who are dressed in green and dark blue army uniforms and those who wear plain clothes but are assigned special tasks. There are so many of these people, is it to the extent that every person praying has one armed police closely watching and guarding over them?

However, for example, the Tibetan New Year’s celebration broadcast on TV a few days ago, was nothing but red. All programmes were excessively conveying one main message: happiness. Of course this happiness was also red, the red of the Five-Starred red flag, it was China Red. Moreover, on and off the stage, the rosy cheeks of the hosts and the actors, of the officials and the carefully selected audience were beaming with happy smiles, simply creating an atmosphere of happiness that Tibet has never before experienced in its history. One of the performances gave people goosebumps of happiness. A group of actresses wearing Tibetan dresses was facing a group of actors singing with great affection: “Ya, laso, the smiling faces of the soldiers...” The charm of the full femininity of the performance flooded the entire city of Lhasa with a false sense of happiness, but in reality it can’t endure even a gun held in one hostile soldier’s hands.

Hasn’t this happiness befallen us through the shadow of weapons? Can this happiness really exist simply by forcing people to speak it out? I have previously discussed these topics with my religious teacher. He calmly said in the manner of a practising Buddhist: “real happiness is inner happiness, and inner happiness cannot be obtained through money, it can neither be obtained through lies and even less through the oppression with weapons.” He paused, straightened his robes and continued meaningfully: “however, happiness is what everybody is striving for.”

Lhasa, February16, 2010